Audrey

              I have a hunger for criticism –constructive of course – which much like the pains of hunger before a large meal, can be unbearable when left unfed. If I’m not given any notes after a rehearsal I go absolutely mad. I’m the type of actress, runner, and person who wants to learn constantly. I believe there can always be improvements made, no matter what level you are at. I can recall begging a director after a rehearsal to find something for me to work on. After much thought, he gave me something challenging about my character to give some thought. I was a little scared to be honest, but I was excited to work on it and improve my performance. The same applies to everything I do – there is always improvements I can be making in my race strategies, my work ethnic, almost anything and everything I do.

                The same quality can be found in a woman I particularly admire. She was elegant, talented, and one of Hollywood’s greatest icons – Audrey Hepburn. While reading a biography (Enchantment: The Life and Times of Audrey Hepburn by Donald Spoto), I discovered that she also possessed that quality. A quote from that same biography describes her drive and determination to learn all she could in order to grow and succeed in the craft: “’I’m frightened,’ she blurted out to a journalist one day after rehearsal. ‘I have no stage training whatever. Others spend their lives at it before they get anywhere. I guess I’ll have to act by intuition – until I learn.’” (Enchantment: The Life and Times of Audrey Hepburn by Donald Spoto).

She was in rehearsals for Gigi at that time, a 1951 Broadway musical. She didn’t have to act as Gigi however, she was Gigi entirely. She may not have known how to properly project, how to express her emotions properly; she had never trained as an actress and had no idea what she was doing. However, she had a rare quality. One which turned heads and make everyone look at the girl onstage. One which was determined to give the best performance she could so she didn’t disappoint or embarrass anyone. She didn’t see how truly talented she was. “She was basically a very insecure person whose very insecurity made everyone fall in love with her . . . [She was] a star who couldn’t see her own light.” (Enchantment: The Life and Times of Audrey Hepburn).

As you may be able to tell, from the book I just finished reading describing her life and career, there are many quotations which describes how frightened and eager she was to learn. All quotes below where taken from Enchantment: The Life and Times of Audrey Hepburn by Donald Spoto.

“Audrey was commanded to pose for the press, turning the last light bulb in the last letter of her name, so when the Audrey Hepburn finally illuminated the marquee, it seemed – but only in the photos – as if she might be electrocuted by sheer vanity. ‘Oh, dear,’ she told reporters huddling around her as she climbed down from the ladder, ‘I still have to learn how to act!’”

“‘My career is a complete mystery to me,’ said Audrey Hepburn, reflecting later on her success. ‘It’s been a total surprise since the first day. I never thought I was going to be an actress, I never thought I was going to be in movies, I never thought it was going to happen the way it did.’”

“‘When we got to the last scene,’ Audrey recalled, ‘we were in the car, and I was saying goodbye to Greg and going back to being a princess. I was supposed to sob my heart out. But I couldn’t cry. I was pretending to cry, but it was no good at all. There was no proper tears. They tried glycerin. Take after take, it wasn’t any good. Willy [Wyler] came over and gave me absolute hell. ‘How long do you think we’re going to wait here? Can’t you cry, for goodness’ sake? By now you should know what acting’s about!’ I was so upset – he was so angry with me. I just started to cry. He shot it, gave me a big hug and walked off. That’s how you learn. He knew that with me there was no point in trying to teach me. He would just have to make me cry.’”

“I want to retain the feeling that it is all happening to someone else, and at the same time have an idea of my own value and worth to the company. You see, I have always reached for something just above my head. If I have been able to hold on, it is because I seized every opportunity and worked extra hard on. Nothing came easily. In [stage] musicals, I was the tense, rigid girl trained for ballet who had to watch everyone else find out what to do. In the theatre, In Gigi, I acted without any acting experience. The play was a success in America and they said nice things about me. But all through the sixteen-month run, I was still learning. By the last night, I was really only ready for the first night. Out of that curious studio life of cameras, lights, noises and nerves, I had to try to bring a true performance.”

“Audrey’s success did not mean security. ‘It’s like when somebody gives you something to wear that’s too big, and you have to grow into it,’ she said. ‘I wouldn’t say I’ve learned to act yet. Often I think I’ll never learn anything. Some of the things I do onstage depress me beyond measure.’”

                Audrey Hepburn’s eloquent charm and honest performances continue to win over viewers, no matter what day and age it is. She is timeless. Her life was never a dull moment – feeling abandoned by her father as a young child and for the majority of her life, living through World War II, taking every opportunity she could get her hands on in the performing world, scandalous romances, and volunteering her time with UNICEF. Wife, Humanitarian, Actress, an inspiration – as you watch her films or learn more about this astonishing woman, she invites you to fall in love with her all over again. I continue to take every learning opportunity I can; we could all learn a lot from Miss Hepburn’s wise ways.